Gotta slow up, gotta shake this high

Gotta take a minute just to ease my mind

Cause if I don’t walk then I get caught out

And I’ll be falling all the way down.

Today I couldn’t help myself from stop listening to this amazing song. I heard it for the first time when I was having my usual walk through the streets of the town centre : I stopped right in front of Zara shop and I turned on Shazam to catch that magnificent sound. Melody to my ears !

This morning I woke up pretty early and I went to my dad’s office, as every other day since the loud fight I had with my mother. I can’t still understand what’s the point of this but at least I have the opportunity to relax enjoying those long and soothing walks. ( spending time home with my mother yelling at me for everything I touch or I do, isn’t absolutely what I could dream of ). Then I thought about the fact that I’ve always loved walking because of my Granny. I remember that when I was little she used to bring me everywhere we could go by foot as she wanted to prove that walking could make people able to enjoy life in a better way.

God, she’s so right. We have so many complicated and expensive ways to move to other places that we forgot the easiest and cheapest way : our feet. At first I couldn’t understand what she wanted to tell me but now I know: now that I’m older I’m trying to follow all these great advices I couldn’t put in practise before. And walking is definitely one of those.

When I walk my mind seems to be much more relaxed and free from all those noises of my sadness. Walking makes me so relieved and the feeling that comes from it, it’s incredibly touching. Today I thought about a picture I have on the bedside. It’s a little memory of my childhood that brings me happiness everytime I watch it and that helps me feel better when I’m feeling blue. There isn’t a specific memory I can associate to it, like a fact or a thrilling experience; I simply consider it a short summary of a great fairytale.

Then I started wondering around that fairytale: I miss it. I mean, I miss the recklessness of being a child, when you don’t give and F about anything because you’re a child and you can do what you feel. You don’t think about consequences or other people opinions because you can’t  understand the point of giving opinions. I miss when I was able to smile when I was happy and to cry when I was sad; now that I’m old and that period has become part of my life, I can distinguish feelings anymore. You boys can’t understand how frustrating it could be. You’re there judging us, saying that we’re crazy and hysterical, thinking that we’re happy for this. The truth is that we’re not ! So yes, I thought of it too, it could sound stupid but I miss when I wasn’t moody. That’s it.

I miss when I was little and I could definitely say what love is. Now that I’m older and pretty wiser than before, I can’t tell what’s love anymore. I can’t tell what’s the importance of walking barefoot, or what’s the importance of giving a painting to my mother on mother’s day, or what’s the importance of eating food only because it was good, or  of smiling at everyone carefree, or the importance of a hug or of a caress, or the importance of going to the zoo and scream at the sight of an animal, or the importance of screaming. I miss all these things and I can’t help the fact that now everything is changed.

So this morning, walking throught the streets, listening to Kwabs’song and wondering around, I saw a little girl sitting on her stroller, smiling and looking around while pushed by her mother, and she reminded me who I was before and who I am not now.

The challenge I give you today is to grab a picture of you when you were little and to think about the summary of your childhood. Maybe you’d be pushed to redo things you used to do when you were a cute and reckless kid. I started by walking, that’s a thing. Step by step I will try to learn how to appreciate those simple things I used to appreciate when I was little.  I need that, I need to know how to give importance to things again.

Wish you a great and admirable journey into the sweetness of your past.

Miss Misunderstood.



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