James Bay‘s CD is trying to make me think.Don’t know why and don’t know what about.
This morning I woke up happy. Not thrilled, neither excited. Just happy. The fact that the sun is shining as it has never done during the whole winter season, could be the reason of my mood. But I’m trying to work on a better reason; I don’t want to always seem poetical otherwise you’ll soon get bored of all my metaphors and utopic points of view.
This time I will try to be real. Enjoying the moment. Let’s start from a song.
Hold back the river, let me look in your eyes
Hold back the river, so
I Can stop for a minute and see where you hide
Hold back the river, hold back..
While this amazing and meaningful song was surrounding my great halo with happiness, I thought I should write something down to fix the moment and not to let it fade away forever. I’m a short-term memory person so I tend to forget lot of things and this fact I call disease, makes me feel terrible.
I believe in the power of past but not be able to remember it, it’s frustrating.
So, most of my time I feel like I’m living Christopher Nolan’s Memento and it could seem cool to you but sometimes it seems like I’m suffering from a phobia or a mental illness. Imagine this ginger hair girl waiting at the bus stop for her bus to come. Imagine her with a notebook writing continuosly and commenting her own notes: what would you think ?
“Guess that girl has some mental problems.”
I’m used to hear lot of comments about my weird behaviour. At first I would feel very bad but I couldn’t stop doing it so now I’m like “I don’t care”. If something makes you feel better and free from pressure then do it. You shouldn’t be thinking about other people’s opinions otherwise what’s the point of your life ?
Back to James Ray.
I was listening to the song and I felt happy. Sun shining, birds singing, my dog sleeping on my legs, my favourite cup of coffee next to me and a delicious white chocolate cupcake in my hand. My head was so light because I couldn’t think about anything but that restful moment I was living.
The thing is that I’m a very analytical person. I always try to give an explanation to what’s happening around me. If I see a flower in a field I would think about it’s way of standing there. I would think about the weather around it or the insects living on it. It’s something that comes up involuntarily.
That’s why “relaxing” rhymes with “no thinking” for me.
When I find a way to get to that level of relax, then I’m happy. Maybe that’s what this song was trying to tell me. It wanted to give me a break from everything. It was trying to tell me : ” Stop it, Chiara ! Live this day by turning off your mind for a little while !”
Thank you James Bay, I feel better now.